Thursday, May 25, 2006

makeup house arrest

I am onstage in the theatre. I am alone. It is a sort of Rose's Turn moment, where the deranged actor is left in the empty house and imagines that the loud and large crowd is loving the flawless act that is going on in her head. Actually, it is not that exciting and I am here by reason of my character, confined to the non-public spaces of the theatre by the house arrest of my makeup. See, I put it all on for the dress rehearsal and now I've got it on and I can't go anywhere without feeling extremely conspicuous. My face is covered with latex and layers of color and I look like a weirdo in the harsh light of day. Inside the theatre, the darkness and the forgiving lights make me able to not be a freak. And so I stay here until after the show when I can return to my civilian garb after a nice hot shower.

Had a dress rehearsal, as I mentioned and it seemed to go quite well. Everyone is off now eating the various things there are to eat in this neighborhood where the Tramway is located, called East Pollockshield. Go out the front door of the Tramway and there is a little South Asian strip nearby, featuring curry shops, Indian sweets and the ubiquitous doner kebab. Go out the back door, and you can treat yourself to KFC. I saw a Subway downtown and will get the combo and report on the Scottish version of my favorite sandwich indulgence. On my break on the Continent, I went to Amsterdam for a few days and had an elaborate conversation with a Yank friend who lives there and had the theory that Subway will not take hold in Holland because the Dutch do not like to mix things on their sandwiches. They are a bread and cheese only kind of culture. And indeed, there was not one Subway that I saw there.

If anyone knows a good joke about a bagpipe, please submit it to me in the comment department. I am also trying to find jokes that other cultures tell about Americans, but so far, no luck here on that one. The kind of joke that starts something like: "an American walks into a bar..." You get the picture. I guess our current status on the world stage is just not that funny these days. Even a mean-spirited joke would do, but perhaps our genteel hosts here in Scotland do not want to offend us with crass anti-Americanism. I say, bring it on. A joke tells you a lot about true feelings and if there are no jokes that means there is no affection either. Sigh.

Tanya has joined me in the empty theatre and is going to have a little pre-show lie-down. She is feeling a little under the weather this evening and she is not the only one. Jeff and Joe both have colds and Dan seems to be having a bit of a resurgence of the cold that he thought he was beating a couple of days ago. We all deal with our conditions and just keep on going. There's no people like show people, as Mama Rose would say.

And in case anyone was wondering, I did not yet have sticky toffee pudding but I did have some most excellent shortbread cookies from the grocery store and they were organic. It's all about the butter, my friends. Dee-lish!

peace and single malt love,


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